Dear Kat,

I’m quite looking forward to sharing the tale of Finlay’s birth. It really went extremely well and I feel really lucky to have had the experience, and am happy to share about it if it might help others in some way to achieve the birth they want as well. Not sure how long it will end up being though!

As you know, this was my second pregnancy and my first labour was more complicated and stressful than I expected. That was partly because my waters broke first and the surges were very close and intense from the beginning, and partly because Lily had been back to back. Though I’m sure the difficulties were in part related to me being unsure and not relaxed that time! Which is why Max and I decided to take the hypnobirthing class with you, hoping to feel better prepared for the second time around. I was definitely hoping the second time would be a kind of “dream labour” which I know is not necessarily something one can control! But at the least we figured, it would help us deal calmly with whatever came.

So, on to Finlay. I was planning to work up to just under 2 weeks before my due date, as that worked well for me the first time (Lily came 2 days before her “due” date). I had been having strong warm ups for a couple of days, which I had had for weeks but they were stronger and accompanied by lower back pain. However, I hadn’t thought much of it since I was still 2 weeks before his expected arrival.

The morning of 7 August was actually Max’s birthday, so we had breakfast all together and then I went to work. Just before noon I was having a handover meeting with the person who is going to do my maternity cover, when all of a sudden I felt my waters break. And not just a little trickle, but a pretty spectacular amount of fluid! My maternity cover saw the look on my face and asked if I needed to take a break. Little did she know I needed a lot more than a break! Of course my entire office ended up learning what was going on, and despite the surprise they were all very helpful and supportive. I gave a 3 minute closure to my handover talk, got in a taxi, and went home to meet Max!

I was a little disappointed that my waters had broken first again, since the last time brought close and intense surges from the beginning which makes relaxing a challenge. But despite that I managed to stay nice and relaxed at home. I put on the hypnobirthing piano music, ate some lunch, finished up our letter to the midwives explaining our plans for our hypnobirth, and double checked the hospital bag while I waited for Max. When he arrived I didn’t have any surges yet, but we called the hospital and arranged to go in for a check as that is standard when your waters break. Though we expected we’d probably be sent home after the check (since we had been the first time round), I suggested we bring our hospital bag just in case. Which it turns out, was very lucky!

The next hour or so I started having “twinges”, so worked on staying relaxed and avoiding things that had made me uncomfortable in my first labour. So in the taxi instead of being uncomfy sitting down, I turned around and sat on my knees, doing my bubble breathing. We got to the hospital around 2pm. The waiting room and triage area were hot and noisy, so we tried to remain places that were cooler and quieter (ie leaving a tiny, hot waiting room to stand somewhere with more air). Max did light touch massage on my arms as I stood moving my hips, as the first, very mild surges began.

The triage nurse didn’t seem to think things were going to happen very fast as I think they almost sent me home without examining me. But I asked her to do a vaginal exam and we were utterly shocked to find out I was already 4 centimetres dilated!! I guess all those warm ups the few days before had been doing more than I realised. Suddenly we knew we were going to be admitted and, very likely, our little Finlay was going to be born that day. (And in fact that was my only vaginal exam the whole time.)

The hospital was busy that day so we waited in the triage area for a while, and Max read me a relaxation script. I sat quietly listening and breathing, letting him know when a surge began so I could focus on my bubbles and up breathing. Like in my first pregnancy, the surges were only about 3-4 minutes apart from the beginning.

After a while the midwife checking us in led us towards a Birth Centre room with a pool – though when we got there, we were told it was already occupied by someone pushing! So we couldn’t have that one. They also didn’t have a midwife available yet, as things were very busy. I told them all we needed was a room where we could get settled, as what I wanted most was a private space where we could relax. So we ended up in a Delivery Suite room – more medical, but at least it was cool, private, and quiet. We put on our piano music on our speakers, put up our affirmations and some photos of Lily around the room, and I sat on a birthing ball and breathed.

It was about 3pm when we got the room. I sat on the birthing ball and breathed while Max read me another script, and then “free styled” talking me mentally through visualisations of places we both find peaceful. The surges were getting stronger during this time and were only about 3 minutes apart, but I remember very clearly being able to smile and even joke at the end of them. I realised the early labour had meant we never took photos of my very pregnant belly, so I even posed for some photos between surges!

Around 4:20pm we finally got two midwives (one a student). They were very helpful and were at least somewhat familiar with hypnobirthing. They stayed out of our way, and were also trying to arrange for a Birth Centre room with a birth pool as we were told that one was about to be ready for us.

But soon after this the surges started getting more intense. I found it harder to stay relaxed, and really relied on Max to remind me to focus on my breathing, to relax my face and hands, and to smile when I could. I remember saying “This is not very fun anymore!” I went to the bathroom around this point and saw blood in the toilet, which worried me. But the midwives said it was just my show (which hadn’t appeared before), and I was too distracted by surges to worry too much – I figured they would let me know if anything needed to happen. So I stayed kneeling by the birthing ball, leaning on it, breathing and moaning with each surge.

I am one of those people who can definitely say I went through transition. Around this time I got very hot and sweaty, the surges were so strong I almost couldn’t cope, and I felt like there was an extremely tight belt squeezing my hips with every surge. We realised that even if they got us a room with a pool, it was too late because I wasn’t going anywhere! I was extremely uncomfortable, and then uttered the classic “I can’t do this anymore!” Max assured me that I was going through transition, that this was normal, and urged me to keep relaxed and breathing.

Suddenly I had a strong desire to change position. I got up from my kneeling position, got on the bed, laid on my left side, and lifted my right leg in the air. I don’t know why this appealed (though I remember you telling a story about someone who did something similar), but it felt right so I did it! I also felt the urge to push – or, at first, I felt the urge to poo, and I remember thinking I wouldn’t be embarrassed if I did, if it only made me feel better. 🙂 But this turned into the urge to push, and I must say I didn’t just breathe the baby down but pushed sometimes as well, since that felt right too. I kept my eyes closed the whole time, and despite pushing and making a fair bit of noise, tried to do down breathing, and relax my hands and face when I realised they were tensed up. I wasn’t exactly starring in the most relaxed hypnobirthing video you’ve ever seen, but Max says I was definitely in “the zone” that I had been worried I wouldn’t find.

My down stage was very short, about 10 minutes I think. It was amazing in many ways, as I could feel everything, and even stopped to feel the baby’s head! But the sensations were much more manageable than in transition, and it all felt like a kind of dream with a clear direction towards birthing Finlay. The midwives coached me a little towards the end just to slow down as things were going quite fast, but for the most part they left me to it. Before I knew it (though not a moment too soon, in terms of the pressure) his head was born! And amazingly, while intense, I don’t remember that being too bad. The rest of his body was delivered in the next surge, and that seemed easy as pie in comparison. They placed him immediately on my chest. This was 5:20pm – less than 3.5 hours since the first surges, and one hour after we had a midwife!

I had decided to deliver the placenta naturally, so I held little Finlay while we waited for the cord to stop pulsing. After about 30 minutes waiting for the placenta the midwife suggested I sit on a birthing stool, and a couple minutes later with one final surge, the placenta was delivered. I then had to be stitched up from my second degree tear – which I think came from the very fast down stage as well as Finlay’s “good size” head as the midwife called it.

I remember holding little Finlay, feeling a mixture of emotions. Love for my cute little boy. Surprise at how quickly he had come – after a very short labour, 2 weeks early, and on Max’s birthday! And an intense happiness at how well the labour had gone. I had asked for no pain relief whatsoever, and delivered him completely naturally. Max had been an amazing labour partner, totally calm and reassuring the whole time, always guiding me back to where I needed to be. Despite the surprising start to things in my office, the busy hospital and lack of birthing pool, I really can’t think of a thing I would have changed about the experience. It really was everything we had hoped for.

So, after a much longer story that I had expected to write, there you are – the birth of Finlay! Now we are working on the next chapter of our lives – hypnobirthing your way through life with 2 children. 🙂 Though joking aside, Lily is adapting well and is very fond of her brother, and we are all coping well and learning the new rhythms of life as a family of four.

I want to thank you again for your part in all this Kat – I really think the course helped tremendously! We were lucky too (baby in the right position, everyone healthy), but it made such a huge difference to feel more prepared for the experience with the tools we needed to stay calm and positive. The practice helped tons too, and Max and I both enjoyed the time we spent practicing at home. The whole experience from the start of the course to holding Finlay in our arms was just great – thank you so much! We will hopefully introduce you to the little guy sometime soon.

best wishes,

Stephanie