Hope you’re well, Ralph is now home doing very well, he’s putting on weight well, no surprise really as he’s a hungry baby, annoyingly he’s on mixed feeds still as they had to top him up with Formula when he was in hospital. I am hoping to have him breast only but he is very demanding on feeds which i can’t help but feel is because he’s now used to the top up feeds and he is still very small, just off his birth weight which was 6’13lb; fairly big for a prem baby, but he did lose a fair amount.

As promised I wanted to let you know how we got on in the birth. On Thursday midnight 6th my waters broke, we went to hospital and seems I was in labour and 1.5 dilated. I was surprised and didn’t feel any surges at that point, they insisted I stayed but I refused and went home. I slept as much as I could as my waters where still breaking but I was very relaxed. By 5.30am I woke up feeling strong contractions so we went back in and I was 5cm. At this point I got very distressed as they kept us waiting in a busy waiting area and I found it hard to focus on my hypnobirthing. They  put me in a VERY HOT and SMALL room that barely fit a bed, insisted on me laying on my back while they took blood – it really stressed me out as I needed to squat at this point and there was no room so they struggled getting blood. 

Once I did get in the room it was the main big delivery room and the set up was perfect, the birth pool filled, the midwife only spoke to James and didn’t disturb me. I spent the rest of the time in the pool, I was very relaxed and loved it. I was focused and totally hypnotised and in my own trance. I was not aware of who was in the room at all, I even slept between surges. What helped most was silence from the room, all my main focus was on my own voice, spurring myself along with my affirmations and reminding myself at the end of each surge I was a step closer to Ralph, telling myself I was doing it and smiling at the end of each surge, then I would sleep till the next one. They were monitoring me much more near the end and kept having to hold it and move it around a lot as they kept losing where he was, but again the trace I was in was solid so it didn’t bother me. 

After what felt like 30 min but was actually 2.5 hrs I was ready for the down stage, I did as much as I could in the pool but I was a little too relaxed so decided to move around and stand and squat. The down stage lasted 55min and was the hard part, not from pain, in fact I really didn’t notice the pain at all, but it was exhausting. I should have practised my down breathing more, as I hadn’t realised how long I would need to hold that and it was hard work. But we got there, and it was magic. I was on a high! 

It’s horrible that high was cut short when he had to be rushed off because of his breathing but all is good now and he’s strong boy. I got a second degree tear and a few first but was fine, I think the bruising was the worst part. I didn’t once think of drugs, in fact I forgot they were available at all. The feeling I was in was like being high but with more focus. When I was doing my down stage I was totally alert and out of the first hypno stage and into a new more awake one, while focusing on regaining strength between down breaths. The only time I was checked from the birthing pool was when I asked; I knew I felt I was 10cm and I was and I went straight back In the pool after. I still can’t believe how amazing the whole experience was, I loved it and actually feel proud and strong, makes me want to have more and more.

Thank u so much for all your help and support, hypnobirthing is the best thing we could have done after the not so good experience of my first born.

Jade