Calm and connected. These are the two qualities that come up time and again with my clients. They’re looking to be more present in their lives, to feel calmer and more connected, To themselves, to the people they care about, to the things that matter to them.
Disconnection causes a sense of unease, loneliness, depression, a sense of missing out. All of which feel uncomfortable. We don’t like painful feelings and will do all we can to keep them at bay, numb them, avoid them. Drink some wine, turn the TV on, go shopping, scroll through the internet new sites or social media, comfort eat…. there’s lots of distraction and avoidance techniques available to us these days. And they work…. for a while… All too often though we end up feeling more disconnected afterwards.
So the first step in acceptance and commitment therapy is to recognise the avoidance tactics you use and cultivate unhooking skills to extricate yourself from the autopilot behaviour that pulls you further away from the life you want to lead, from the person you want to be. Our life becomes imbued with meaning. We develop a sense of direction; of creating the life we want. And we experience a sense of vitality and fulfilment that is wholly missing from life on autopilot.
Repeat after me, I am calm and connected. Calm and connected. Calm and connected.
Repeat throughout the day.
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