I had decided I was going to have the best possible pregnancy, I did not care if I got fat, I was pregnant. I did not care if I felt sick, I was pregnant.  I loved everything about it. I had a couple of scares a long the way but all was ok and I guess it was also nature’s way of preparing you for some of the worry that you are bound to experience as a parent.

Kat really put up with a lot. I must have bored the pants off her looking back, but as this was what I wanted for so long she never let on. It was tough anyway. She had the job of being my birthing partner.

On one particular phone call (where I’m sure she rolled her eyes at least twice) I told my friend that I wanted a pain free birth, so what did she do?  She googled ‘pain free birth’ and said ‘hey, this looks interesting and it’s in Northamptonshire too, have a read of this. I’ve got to go. I’ll catch you later’ and then sent me a link to a woman offering just that.  All I had to do was attend 4 classes and learn about hypnobirthing, whatever the hell that was.

I’d used hypnosis to give up smoking, and it had worked but I had no idea how it would work for giving birth but that didn’t matter ‘pain free birth’ was all I kept telling myself and that was what I was booking for the birth of my baby.

I won’t go into what I learnt on the course. It is so personal that everyone’s experience is different.  What i will tell you is that the classes were fantastic. It all made sense to me. Here was someone giving me a tool that would enable me to relax and let my body do the job it was designed for.  Self-hypnosis is such a powerful thing and when mastered can be used for all manner of events in life. Leg waxing being one of them!  

On ‘birth-day’ it was about 3o’clock in the morning and I awoke instantly knowing I was in labour. I sat up, took a deep breath. I was so excited. I was going to meet someone very special soon and I could not wait. I gently woke my husband and told him I was in labour, half asleep and with instant panic he asked if I wanted him to take the day off. ‘That would be nice’ I replied and smiled to myself as he then ran around the bedroom.  We did the usual thing of calling the hospital immediately, as it was my first labour they were pretty convinced that this would go on for some hours and that the best thing I could do was to take a paracetamol, have a bath and save my energy for what was going to be a long day ahead. I told them I didn’t think it was going to be long and the midwife replied ‘you don’t sound too far on. Call back later if there is any change’. At the time my surges were around 10 minutes apart. I ran a bath and chilled out for a while.

I called Kat who was to be my birthing partner. Told her I was in labour but not to drive up (from London) yet as according to the midwifes it could be sometime.

My friend Isobel had instructed me to call her when I was in labour. She didn’t care what time it was, she wanted to know.  Having had four children, she had been my oracle through the pregnancy and was always very straightforward and problematic. I called her at a little after 5am, she was ecstatic. I explained that I’d woken 2 hours before and was a bit miffed that the midwifes weren’t expecting me in for some time yet. At that point my surges were 7minutes apart and I felt like my body was holding off and that I should really go. ‘What do you think?’ I asked. ‘Go, ring the hospital and tell them you’re going in. Don’t take any shit. You do not want to give birth on the A14 do you?!’

When I got to the hospital Kat was walking across the car park. Her timing could not have been better. She had chosen to ignore my instructions of staying put and in hind sight she was right we weren’t going to be waiting for long.  We got booked into the hospital.  I knew the midwife was humouring me about my desire to use hypnobirthing. The method had been rarely used at that hospital at that time and as luck would have it, none of the midwives that knew anything about it were on shift. I was taken to what I could only describe as my holding ward, but I was fine, I had my CD player and was listening to my Rainbow music and was well in the zone, that was until the cleaners on shift decided to dissect the previous evening’s episode of Eastenders and I lost my concentration. The whole truth of what was happening hit me. I went from having a serene surge to a full on contraction in around 3 minutes. ‘Get the midwife!’ In reality I probably whispered this than shouted it dramatically as I really can’ not recall being able to speak. Kat went to find someone whilst I hung off my husband cursing the cleaners for spoiling my concentration. I was then taken to another room to be assessed. I do not really remember the finer details other than really wanting a water birth. This is the great thing about having someone with you who knows exactly what you want and with a bit a gentle persuasion they can make it happen. All I remember was that it was ‘now or never’ to get me into the birthing pool and thank goodness they did. Once in the water I lost my contractions and back came the surges. It was fantastic.   I was floating around, I felt light as a feather.  At one point I thought my husband was being so thoughtful sprinkling water on my forehead, I had actually drifted under the dripping tap!   Then it was time to meet William.  He came into the world exactly as I wanted, pain free.  There was plenty of effort required, but the breathing and visualisations worked a treat. When he came to meet me, my little purple alien swam up, he was then in my arms, gave a huge cry to tell me he was ok and was greeted by us all…’hello, William’, my husband then asked, ‘he is a William, isn’t he?’

My second birth was worlds apart from the first. It was so clinical in comparison. I was carrying some bacteria that meant there was a 14000 in 1 chance that my baby could come to harm whilst I gave birth.  Therefore I had to be attached to a drip so that my baby could receive a huge dose of antibiotics. I was not happy. I had wanted a home birth and to me this was as far away that I could get from that. The labour was progressing fast and I was very uncomfortable. I did not like the room I was in, I did not like my midwife. We also had a student midwife and to me it seemed that it was all about her learning experience as opposed to my birth.  I had had enough. I asked for pethodine, the midwife agreed. I couldn’t relax as I couldn’t move around due to the size of the room and my drip.  I couldn’t get a hold of my contractions, I was grumpy, ‘what do you want me to do.’ I shouted, ‘birth your baby’ replied the midwife. My friend came over to me, grabbed my hand and  told me to remember my hypnobirthing.  It was like a light bulb moment. I took four deep breaths and it all came flooding back. I was on my knees. I spread my knees, called my husband to come and hold my hands and fifteen minutes later, Samuel George came into the world, it was as easy as that!

My story is not the usual serene story you will hear about hypnobirthing. There are hundreds of those and they are all true. People going for a pub lunch during labour, people getting sent home from the hospital due to the midwives not believing that you are progressing because of the calm you will give off and then birthing in a hotel next door, taxis or the moment they got home. There were interruptions, I got distracted, lost my concentration and yes the 2nd time around I nearly forgot all about it, but what I can tell you is that when it mattered, and when I used it, it was the most useful bloody thing I have ever learnt in my life!  It gave me the experience that I wanted. It gave me the opportunity to let my body do what it knew it needed to, without fear, without losing control, without pain.  All because, my friend, Katrina Berry, googled pain free birth.  

To date Katrina has helped bring in over 250 babies in the world, either by mothers attending her classes or those who have been fortunate to have her as her doula and she makes really good ginger cake too.