It might have passed you by but it was World Book Day on Thursday and my Facebook page was filled with pictures of children dressed up as their favourite book characters. Stories capture a reader’s imagination. A good story well told sticks in the mind and resonates way beyond the telling… Since time immemorial, stories have been a way of inspiring and informing others.

I’ve been collecting birth stories since 2009. Sharing them on this website with the expectant parents I meet and work with has proven an invaluable way of helping them approach birth calmly and confidently. Sharing stories is something I’m passionate about so when I received an email back in November 2012 promoting a book called “Breastfeeding: Stories to inspire and inform” I was immediately intrigued.

As soon as I saw the publisher Lonely Scribe’s website and their catalogue of books based on collections of first-hand accounts I was sold. Their aim to allow readers to explore a wide range of real life experiences in the hope that they can encourage and support them to make confident, informed decisions that empower them as parents echoed my own ambition so I took a chance and wrote back. I explained that I’d been thinking about putting together a collection of stories to illustrate how hypnobirthing is truly for all kinds of birth experience. How I’ve spent years trying to take the ‘hippy’ about of hypnobirthing, to dispel the myth that  a “hypno birth” has to be all natural, at home, in water, surrounded by candles and whale music. Parents sharing their own, many varied experiences is one of the best ways I’ve found of doing that and I wondered if they might be interested in publishing such a collection of stories.

I was thrilled to receive a reply within the hour from the publishing director expressing an interest, especially when she’d taken a look at my blog and the first story she’d seen was someone she’d lent her birthing pool to!!!! Moments of synchronicity like this happen to me a lot, I love it, it feels like you’re where you’re supposed to be and doing what you’re supposed to be doing and it just goes to show it truly is a small world!

That’s how Susan Last and I first started discussing a book about hypnobirthing… Our collection of “Stories to Inspire and Inform” hasn’t quite come together yet (I’m still working on it Susan!) but when she was commissioned by Pinter & Martin to work on a new series of books based around dispelling myths about various aspects of birth and asked if I might be interested in contributing, I immediately said yes! Pinter and Martin whose logo was on the spine of so many books on my bookshelf?! Pinter & Martin who specialise in books on psychology and pregnancy, birth & parenting? Whose motto is “freedom to think”?? Hell yes!

Then it hit me. This wasn’t a collection of stories, I had to write a whole book. It even already had a title; “Why Hypnobirthing Matters”. It was to be a small book, but a whole book nonetheless. And so the doubts started to creep in: “You can’t write a book!”, ‘Who’d want to read what you have to say?”, “They’ll realise any minute now that someone else should be doing this…” To be honest, right up until contracts were signed I was waiting for a call or email saying one or all of these. But then… lo and behold… at the start of August last year contracts were signed, sealed and delivered…. and I knew I really HAD to write this book!

As a psychotherapist I’m very familiar with the “not good enough” story our brains try to spin us. Everybody has it in various guises, so when my all too human mind started trying to sabotage my efforts I had to get to grips with it and practice what I preach in hypnobirthing. Our brains are naturally predisposed towards more negative thinking, it requires a conscious effort to think and behave positively, so I took a deep breath (often) and surrounded myself with affirmations, training my brain to focus on my abilities rather than worries about not being able to do it. They popped up everywhere: every time I turned my phone on, if I stopped working for longer than five minutes the screensaver on my laptop would dissolve into a series of helpful prompts, the kitchen and bathroom walls became a collage of pictures, thoughts and reminders. I even bought a whiteboard to plot chapters and structure…. It worked! I’d been warned over and over that writing is harder and takes longer than I thought and so I’d calmed my schedule down as much as I could so I could spend most of August and September researching, making notes and … well…. splurging is the best word for it. Within a few weeks I already had 50,000 words, it turns out I had a lot to say! The problem is this was to be a small, but perfectly formed, book of 40,000 words.

I was literally pregnant with ideas. I wanted to be able to share the history of hypnobirthing, that the use of hypnosis for birth goes further back in time than you might have thought and how it’s use has developed and evolved. I wanted to clearly explain what hypnosis is (and what it isn’t!) and how the human brain works, I wanted to share the beauty of the birthing body and how and why fear and anxiety affects it so much. I wanted to address the most commonly asked questions: is it too early for me to start hypnobirthing? Is it too late? Can I do it on my own or do I need to attend classes? What will it involve? Am I doing it right? How will I know? What’s the difference between the Mongan Method and KG Hypnobirthing? what about Natal Hypnotherapy, Mindful Mamma or The Wise Hippo?? How do I know which is right for me?

I wanted a chapter written specifically for birth partners to help them understand how they can use the approach for their role during birth as well as help support a birthing mother. I wanted a chapter for midwives, doulas and all those who work with and around childbirth. I wanted to show how hypnobirthing helps in any and all circumstances, especially when things don’t go “according to plan". I wanted to highlight how hypnobirthing is for life, how the philosophy and practical application works for pregnancy, the birth and for life after baby… Plus, and perhaps most importantly for me, I wanted those who’d used hypnobirthing to be able to illustrate all this by sharing their experiences in their own words… and I had to somehow get all this into 40,000 words!

Somehow, and like all pregnancies it’s amazing how quickly the time goes, I managed to get a slightly longer than hoped for manuscript to Pinter & Martin for the beginning of November. Thanks to the expert guidance of my highly skilled midwives (if you’ll allow me to continue the metaphor!) editor Susan and publisher Martin, I’m now reading proofs and although I know it’s not very British of me, it’s… well really rather good!!!

Support has been invaluable whilst nurturing this baby. Those summer months neighbours were enquiring and encouraging if I was sitting out in the garden with my laptop, the chaps and chapesses of The Russet and Beyond Retro kept my caffeine levels topped up with Flat Whites and my fellow therapists at The Well Garden helped keep my mind and body grounded. I’d like to say I took time to consider my approach and “voice” but to be honest the book reflects how I teach: a combination of my love for the rational, scientific explanations and a down to earth pragmatism my northern roots have ingrained in me. Each of the hundreds of expectant couples I’ve shared hypnobirthing with have contributed to this book whether they knew it or not. By asking questions and making me think and rethink how best to convey information, they challenged me and inspired me and they generously shared their experiences to help others. The amazingly talented Clare Wilson has created incredible illustrations for me under terrific time constraints and I know they’re going to perfectly convey what I’ve written about in a visual way.

I’m particularly thrilled that each of the main hypnosis for birth programmes in the UK have generously contributed to “Why HypnoBirthing Matters” so readers can get a direct sense of each “method”. All too often there’s a sense of competition between teachers and programmes and we can lose sight of the fact that we’re all passionately working towards the same goal. Fellow hypnobirthing teachers shared their experiences and stories and hypnobirthing parents on the general Facebook page shared their thoughts as to “Why HypnoBirthing Matters”. Fellow birth workers and writers whose work I have admired and been inspired by were all generous with their time and thoughts when asked to contribute. Professor Soo Downe and her team (who conducted the largest UK study into hypnosis for birth), Dr Amali Lokugomage, Milli Hill of the Positive Birth Movement, Mark Harris of Birthing4Blokes (and fellow P&M author) and several highly experienced midwives (special mention for Vanessa Hodge and the wonderfully wise Jacqui, Mal, Elke and Anna of The London Birth Practice) have all been insightful and encouraging.

We’re so very close to birth-day now, and as with childbirth I wouldn’t say it’s been easy (quite close to it though!), but I would say it’s been SO worth it and I’m incredibly proud of what we’ve been able to put together for you. As I sit out this afternoon in my little garden for the first time this year, the Spring sun on my laptop, buds starting to burst through the soil and a sense of fertility and rebirth all around; I’m so thrilled and proud that next month, nine months after conception, my ‘baby’ will be born and out there in the world! 

You can pre-order your copy of ‘Why Hypnobirthing Matters’ now either on Amazon or, preferably, through Pinter & Martin (half of their income is invested in new books, and they get twice as much per book if you buy direct from them!)